How to Stop Seeking External Validation and Trust Your Inner Voice

Energy Over Time

Sep 18

Have you ever found yourself constantly seeking approval from others? Maybe you're wrestling with self-doubt or wondering, Am I good enough? Smart enough? Am I doing the right thing? It's a familiar struggle—focusing on what others think of you rather than tuning in to your wisdom and taking action on what’s important to you. I’ve been there too!

In this blog, I'll guide you through breaking free from the cycle of seeking external validation and starting to trust your inner voice. By doing so, you'll unlock your full potential and step into your true power.

Let me share a cheesy but appropriate quote: “The answers you're looking for are already within you.” I know, I know, you heard that before, but have you practiced listening?

Why Do We Seek External Validation?

From a young age, we're conditioned to seek approval. Parents, teachers, and society in general contribute to shaping this need for validation. Historically, in our ancestors' time, acceptance by the tribe was essential for survival. Fast forward to today, that same need for belonging and acceptance manifests as a desire for external validation.

But relying on others for approval disconnects us from our true selves. It leaves us feeling drained and insecure and constantly chasing someone else's idea of who we should be. Instead of thriving in our authenticity, we shrink, taking little space. Does this sound familiar? It does for me. When we were little, we did what was necessary to get love, and as adults, many of us still play with those old unconscious patterns. But no worries, there’s a way out!

Reconnecting with Your Inner Voice

Your inner voice—your soul—is always there, but it's easy to lose touch. The good news is that you can reconnect by creating space for reflection and stillness. A simple practice like daily meditation or quiet reflection can help you hear that gentle, guiding voice. I like writing, too, because it makes me feel like I'm starting to ground my insights and decisions.

Start by asking yourself simple but powerful questions like:

What do I want?
What feels right for me?
What kind of life do I want to live today?

In moments of stillness, you'll begin to hear the truth that’s always been inside you. The more you trust this voice, the less you'll depend on others to tell you what's right.

Stop People-Pleasing & Set Boundaries

One of the biggest challenges in breaking free from external validation is learning to say no. And yes, no is a complete sentence.

It might feel uncomfortable at first—especially if you're used to putting others' needs ahead of your own—but this discomfort is a sign you're building new, healthier patterns. Over time, you'll notice a sense of relief and empowerment as you stop bending to please others and start living in alignment with your own desires. Keep that in mind as you dare to choose yourself instead of others.

Build Inner Confidence Through Small Decisions

Confidence doesn't come all at once—it builds through small, everyday decisions and ACTIONS. Whether it’s deciding what to eat, what to wear, or how to organize your day, start making choices based on what feels right for you, not on what others expect.

The more you trust yourself in small moments, the more you’ll trust yourself when it comes to the bigger decisions in life. And here's the beauty of it: as you step into your own power, you'll attract people who respect you for living your truth and start to be a model of self-reliance and self-empowerment for others.

Ready to Trust Your Inner Voice?

Today, I want you to commit to just one small step: